Things I hate

1. Lists

Churn

I find myself inexplicably at an apogee from my comfort zone, too restless to rest, too far from home. I roam streets, corners, martyrs and mourners for something that tastes like a far away place, the kind that lingers like frowns on a face, or in the memories of burnt tongues, of last rungs on ladders split long before anyone knew what it was being used for, I ignore commonly misplaced intelligence, I capture irrelevance with irreverence I leave footprints in dirty stockings, while shady guy’s hocking unseen movies with overdone scripts, I leave rips in paper on pens, with friends and strangers, I seek dangers without them seeking me, I burp ecstasy. I think faster than I act, I behave better than I attract, I interact with compact conversation; I mingle in hesitation. I find better time to do nothing but something, I’d go spelunking if I had a funk team, dive to the riff-raff that counteracts, yoga lost to floor mats, I adore chaos and dread disaster I’ve been running off of something I’m after, I spit laughter; I eat words, love verbs, have you heard the bird that flies when it’s rhythm drops I respect cops when they don’t arrest me, I get testy when I’m messy, I get sundry when I’m hungry. I am already eaten, I’ve been beaten by good ideas and bad people, I poke steeple, scrape sky, I wonder why I have no plan, I push away the hand that makes demand. I ask questions and fake answers I’m known for my manners. I get low I think high. I barely try but I’m always dying to know what’s next. I blame turrets.

The death of interactive friendship

So my esteemed colleague Ms. Waters and I have realized the value of blogging. Instead of committing to an actual friendship we have committed to being involved in one another's blogs. It is the beginning of a beautiful or at least voyeuristic relationship. Ms. Water's keen observation: "that way we can feel like we've been communicating when we actually haven't been." Brilliant. In conclusion, it's almost better than friendship: an involuntary responsive alliance system. IRAS. Hopefully this mechanism of social interaction can replace the utter nonsense of this so-called friendship phenomena. Our best scientists suggest that this kind of radical change may be possible within our life-times, especially if we keep fuel emissions at a high-rate. Come on people, let's change the world by changing people in the world from friends to acquaintances, together we can ease the burden of responsibilities by restricting meaningful interactions with one another. Together, we can find a way to care less about others and more about each others blogs.

Vomit and Gargoyles: A brief introduction

In an effort to bring in more attention than my usual tantrums I have begun this public display of thoughts. This is no ordinary display, oh wait, yes it is. And I am no ordinary girl. I am of the international breed, which means that almost anywhere I go is home. It also means that I get a lot of strange glances because I pee on whatever I consider to be my territory. My only friend is a Ziploc bag filled with jumping beans that I won after singing Pasty Cline at an all you can eat hot dog contest. This was not a prize for the actual contest but rather a motivation to discontinue the contest as I am allergic to hot dogs and proceeded to vomit after every bite. I like to spend the majority of my time peeling skin off of rotting fruit and pasting them to my ongoing collage titled: 'the age of fruit; the end of man.' Evenings find me roaming the streets in search of gargoyles that hunt small pets. I am not missing pets but I do have suggestions for the gargoyles. I am trying to convince them to carry off a small young punk that lives on my street and periodically refers to me with profanity when we cross paths. The gargoyles have yet to respond to my messages spelled out with Christmas lights.